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Global Saves
As of 2231, Valhalla has saved the world 43 times: 1. Borr saves the planet from Valhalla’s previous occupants. 2. Alf saves it from a religious doomsday plot. 3. Alf saves it from a political situation that would have lead to war. 4. Alf saves it from another political situation that would have lead to war. 5. Balder saves it from a genetically engineered virus. 6. Balder and Alf save it from a man whose name would be a spoiler for future material. 7. Churro saves it from a Bondian threat to flood the Earth ala Spy Who Loved Me. 8. Alf saves it from a genetically engineered monster. 9. Balder and Churro save it from a political situation. 10. C Team saves it from a bureaucratic error that would have poisoned the atmosphere. 11. Death saves it from one of Cato’s mistakes. 12. Alf saves it from a megalomaniacal theater actor. 13. C Team and K Team save it from a political/terrorist plot. 14. D Team saves it from a woman threatening to release a virus. 15. D Team saves it from a person threatening to release a colossal robotic killing machine. 16. E Team saves it from the remains of Valhalla’s previous occupants. 17. D Team and a political situation. 18. E and G save it from a religious organization that intends to poison several critical food supplies. 19. C blows up a geothermal plant that would’ve ruptured the Earth’s crust. 20. H Team invents a way to stop an extreme heatwave that would kill everyone. 21. C Team visits Tunisia and fights the Unspeakable Darkness at their height, when they were a cult that may well have taken over the globe. Cato has a bad time. 22. Alf saves the world from Vladivostok terrorists by assimilating and taking control of their operations, killing most of them. 23. Balder, K and H solve a Laytonesque mystery that could have lead to Earth’s demise. 24. R Team on their first expedition stop a nuclear missile half a second before it would’ve hit. But they can never use their trampoline again. 25. Alf and Balder take on a very nasty UNEGA CEO. 26. R Team saves it from that CEOs right hand man. 27. D Team stops a company plot much like Lex Luthor’s from Superman Returns. 28. J Team saves it from four daring mercenaries who threatened to destroy the Earth if they were not allowed into Valhalla just to get its attention. They’re L Team now. 29. Alf saves it from a Høtherus acolyte. 30. L Team saves it from four more mercenaries who discover L Team’s initial plot and try it themselves. Those mercs are dead. 31. N Team saves it from what may have been an alien artifact, but we’ll never know because Necrosis ate what was left of it on a dare. 32. H Team rig Yellowstone to leak instead of popping. 33. Balder averts a political crisis by sleeping with both CEOs involved. 34. D Team blows up an actual working Death Star made by angry Star Wars fans who feel Episode 87 was lacking. They are dispatched by the same method as in A New Hope owing to their slavish need for an authentic (and thus destructible) exhaust port. 35. S Team assassinates the next L Ron Hubbard. 36. S Team assassinates his daughter. 37. F Team, political crisis. 38. F Team, viral terrorism. 39. F and S teams both discover what may be plots to destroy the world using Valhalla’s own equipment but in the end learn that they’ve actually been tracking each other attempting to stop each other from destroying the world. This comes very close to destroying the world. 40. M Team stops a political crisis that had been growing more and more certain to start a global war when Mishka gave up on waiting for the company debates to resolve themselves and just killed everyone. 41. O and P Teams up to stop a greedy geothermal CEO from fracking up the tectonic plates on a global scale. 42. N Team blows up a drone factory controlled by a maniac. 43. T Team stops a hacker who has created a killswitch for the entire net-linked population of Earth.